Steady My Heart.

So, I've mentioned in the past that I belong to Brighton ACT Group and have a heart for seeing those trapped in slavery set free. As a group recently we have embarked on a 4 part course called "Caring for the Broken-hearted" and after the first session the other day...I'm excited! The course itself is being run by a wonderful lady called Wendy Young, who is part of the ministry team at Off The Fence . The course we're on is training us and developing our ability to care for and serve women who are suffering life controlling issues and those who are in crisis. The first session we spent a lot of time talking about women who work in prostitution and as an ACT group we know that sex trafficking for prostitution is a huge problem both nationally and globally. Plus, the overwhelming majority of those trafficked are women (around 80%) and therefore this course is something we feel really called to. Although STOPTHETRAFFIK is not a religious organisation all members o...

Once again, there's another bump in the road, another twist in the tale. This might be a lengthy post and it'll be a mixture of an update plus a reflection on hope and a smidge of gushing about how blessed I still am. For those that don't know me in real life...I am ill once again. Not just a little bit ill, full blown couldn't stand up for a few days ill and as a consequence, my plans of being a teacher are over. Since the 2nd March my heart rate has been all over the place, I haven't been able to eat and for a few days I wasn't able to drink. I became very dehydrated and ended up in hospital. Whilst an inpatient I met one great doctor and one rubbish doctor. It's made me realise the the management of my POTS could be so much more effective if I was under a doctor who understood that it was part of a bigger illness that is affecting many parts of my body aside from my heart. So...the good doctor agrees that I have general autonomic dysfunction (d...

Being loved and feeling loved are two different things. Objective and subjective. I am loved, but often I don't feel that way. It's something that I often have to remind myself. Today for example, I'm feeling a bit lonely, a bit sad (probably because the weather is utterly miserable and I feel fat) and consequently wanted a cuddle. Now, there are people I could have contacted to get a cuddle, to curl up and watch crap TV with but instead, I decided to spend the evening lying in bed moping. Why? Because I'm scared of being rejected, scared of people not loving me enough to come and give me that cuddle/invite me to go to theirs. I'm scared that maybe they don't love me, that maybe I am just lying to myself. And then I want to hit myself around the head, to knock some sense into my silly little brain. Just this past week I have spent time with great friends on more than one occasion and I have photographic evidence to prove it... That was Thanksgiving, we ...