Steady My Heart.

At the beginning of the year, I posted about a shift on another ward and how I was so relieved to return to my own ward, how I felt out of my comfort zone, how the grass isn't always greener elsewhere! However, in the past fortnight I have worked two shifts on a different ward to my usual and have LOVED it. So what was different? Firstly, people introduced themselves. It seems so simple - but knowing peoples names makes you feel part of the team. I honestly think it should be compulsory for all healthcare workers to wear a visible name badge. If it's hard as a member of staff in a strange environment, I cannot imagine how daunting it must be for patients, particularly when then staff change from shift to shift. Secondly, back in January, I was very much in a honeymoon period regarding my job. My enthusiasm was boundless and I thought my ward was faultless. 9 months down the line and I have matured in my role and also come to the realisation that no ward is perfect - we a...

I recently wrote a guest post for Digital Worship in which I highlighted that social media is not a replacement for real life friendships and support . Simultaneously, I was really struggling with being alone. I moved house at the end of September and as much as I enjoy my own space, it has been incredibly lonely in the interim before the other girls move in. For a variety of reasons, things have been a bit wobbly recently but this has definitely been compounded by spending too much time alone. For a week or so, my good friend Rich has been rather persistently trying to get me to visit or allow him to come and visit me. Even using said blog post to point out that I knew what I needed, as much as I was denying myself it! This weekend, I eventually relented and he came to spend the weekend in Brighton, it may not have fixed everything but it definitely meant I got some TLC and had to think a little less about looking after myself. Aside from getting locked out of the house, it was a...

"Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine  'Cause love can heal what hurt divides  And mercy's waiting on the other side  If we're honest  If we're honest"   I've tried so many times to blog in the past few weeks...but I pride myself on authenticity and everything I've written has felt like a lie. In the words of Francesca Battistelli...I have "a heart that loves to hide" and it particularly loves to hide when things get tough, when I haven't got it all as together as it might seem. For a few weeks now, I've been floundering somewhat, treading water but not really staying afloat. If we're honest , my mental health leaves a lot to be desired right now. If we're honest , despite the fact that life is a lot of fun right now, life is also really hard. If we're honest , I may be eating, but my body image is worse than ever. If we're honest , I feel totally unworthy and unlovable. If we...