Steady My Heart.

  "This is my prayer in my hunger and need, my God is a God who provides...all of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship" I realise that this blog has become more and more faith based as time goes on - I hope that is a reflection of my daily life. I hope people look at me and see even just a glimpse of Jesus. I began this blog to be therapeutic, it's a way of ordering my thoughts when life gets a bit messy or busy - but also a place to celebrate the good times. 18 months on and I'm nearing nearly 10,000 reads. I'm not particularly fussed about the number, this blog's main purpose is as a space for me to write, yet I am so humbled that people from all over the world read what I write and many come back to read multiple posts. So thank you, I love blogging - and there's something therapeutic about knowing I'm not alone, that people are going through life with me, even from afar. Today's

This post was mainly written at about 3am this morning, as such it's somewhat disjointed and probably makes little sense but it kind of says a lot about where I am right now so I'm going to post it anyway... I'm also going to use it as my link in with Monday Ministry over on Tania's blog .  I turn 21 tomorrow. Birthdays are difficult - they're a celebration yet I also find myself looking back over all the things I have failed at. Right now, life feels like a bit of a train wreck. I'm struggling to have hope for my future and in all honesty, I have no desire to celebrate. I haven't been to church in weeks, I've stopped messaging people back when they ask where I am, I've stopped trusting that God has a plan for me, and that it doesn't matter that I don't know what that plan is. I got rejected from the course I'd applied to do. That rejection has hit me so deeply and left me questioning my entire existence. The first evening I bawled m