When life gets a bit sandy...

 
"This is my prayer in my hunger and need, my God is a God who provides...all of my life, in every season, You are still God, I have a reason to sing, I have a reason to worship"

I realise that this blog has become more and more faith based as time goes on - I hope that is a reflection of my daily life. I hope people look at me and see even just a glimpse of Jesus. I began this blog to be therapeutic, it's a way of ordering my thoughts when life gets a bit messy or busy - but also a place to celebrate the good times. 18 months on and I'm nearing nearly 10,000 reads. I'm not particularly fussed about the number, this blog's main purpose is as a space for me to write, yet I am so humbled that people from all over the world read what I write and many come back to read multiple posts. So thank you, I love blogging - and there's something therapeutic about knowing I'm not alone, that people are going through life with me, even from afar.

Today's post takes me back to team night just over a week ago. The beautiful Liz Wood from St Peter's Brighton was talking to us about the desert place, and her wisdom is just too good not to share!

Psalm 63
A psalm of David, regarding a time when David was in the wilderness of Judah.

O God, you are my God;
I earnestly search for you.
My soul thirsts for you;
my whole body longs for you
in this parched and weary land
where there is no water

I have seen you in your sanctuary
and gazed upon your power and glory.
Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
how I praise you!
I will praise you as long as I live,
lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
I will praise you with songs of joy.
I lie awake thinking of you,
meditating on you through the night.
Because you are my helper,
I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
I cling to you;
your strong right hand holds me securely.
But those plotting to destroy me will come to ruin.
They will go down into the depths of the earth.
They will die by the sword
and become the food of jackals.

But the king will rejoice in God.
All who trust in him will praise him,
while liars will be silenced.

Throughout the Psalms we see David crying out to God in times of trouble - he didn't try to hide it or pretend that tough times don't come, he accepted that the were normal. And it's true for us too - it is completely normal to have times where you feel dry and distant from God. During these times we often panic, instead we should recognise the significance of the desert and use it as an opportunity to grow. Once we accept the desert times, remembering that Jesus spent time in the desert and is still there with us, the pressure of needing to escape these desert times will ease. 

Tough times aren't wasted. I truly believe in an all-loving God who has wonderful plans for my life (Jeremiah 29:11), I also believe in The Fall and thus sin being brought into the world. I don't believe God causes bad things to happen to anyone, but I do believe that He can use the bad parts of live for a positive outcome - God recycles our junk to create something new and better!

James 1:2-4 "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing."

So, how do you know you're in "the desert"? Liz pointed out that often we'll lose our passion for something. Up until this night I'd been avoiding church for weeks - I was scared of being vulnerable, of my worship being fake because actually I didn't feel like worshipping. My passion for praise had dwindled and for me, that is a sure sign that I am distancing myself from God.

Once we've realised we're in the desert place we have to options for response. 

1. Accept that you are in the desert, that there is no water or life. 

OR 

2. Refuse to believe that there is no water or life and search the water out. 

If you look closely enough, there is always life to be found. Joyce Meyer talks of learning to live beyond your feelings and this is a skill I need to practice. I frequently let my emotions cloud my judgements, I become irrational and overwhelmed when actually the best response in all situations? Worship. Turn to God. He should be my first port of call. God doesn't care how loud I may or may not be singing, He cares about what's going on in my heart. Just getting myself to church, opening myself up to Him is enough. 

Handing things to God does not mean I remain passively in the desert. I am responsible - it is no one else's responsibility to "rescue" me. It starts and ends with God. I have a great church family around me, but we are all human, we are flawed, we are responsible for ourselves and need to be active rather than waiting for someone else to notice that I'm in a desert place. 

Liz used a fantastic metaphor of a crusty sponge. When you first place that crusty sponge back on the water - very little happens, it takes a while for the water to seep through and fill the sponge back up. It's the same with us - when we're in the desert place it can often take a little while of being soaked in Jesus' presence before we start feeling alive and hydrated again. It's not always an immediate thing, but it will happen. No matter how far into the desert we feel we are, Jesus is always there waiting to fill us again.

Finally, Rick Warren talks about life as a railroad track:

I used to think that life was hills and valleys – you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

I think this is such a great analogy and one I can so relate to. Since this team night, I've been trying to end each day with a rose (positive) and a thorn (negative) to try and maintain some perspective. Even in the bad times, there are always things to be thankful for.
 

After the talk we had some more worship and I absolutely bawled my eyes out. I was surrounded by friends who prayed God's comfort, love and guidance over me. I was hugged, given tissues and nobody even cared that I was a snotty mess. It was just what I needed. Plus, I had a bit of an awesome God moment when they played the song "Majesty, Your grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in Your hands". It's my baptism song (cue more tears) at which point I turned around and said - now we just need a bit of Romans 8 (my baptism verse). The band finished worship with Our God is Greater. A song based around...you guessed it...Romans 8. It was such a blessing, such a reminder of my baptism. God knows what we need and when we need it.

There is so much going on at the moment, I was planning to write more about everyday life and a catch up but I'll save it for another day as my duvet is calling me. Life is very sandy just now so it's been helpful to relive this talk and remind myself that God's got me and I just need to search out that water, because it does exist.

A thorn: I have really bad stomach cramps.
A rose: I had garlic and herb soft cheese on bagels for dinner and it tasted INCREDIBLE.

TTFN x