Steady My Heart.

This week has been incredibly hectic at work. One of the nurses was telling me that it's the same every year - in January everyone is much sicker. Working on an acute surgical ward - our patients are often sick, but this week it's emergency buzzer after emergency buzzer and the majority of them have been genuine. The critical care outreach team and ITU registrar might as well permanently move in they've been up to us so much. So after a busy and stressful week, on my final shift before a run of annual leave I got sent to support another ward who were short staffed. Now, I present myself as confident and self assured. The reality? I think I am crap at my job, I'm kind of just waiting for this bubble to burst and Matron to sack me. Now I *know* that's not the truth, because my colleagues tell me otherwise but it's how I feel. I am however, becoming more confident. I am comfortable in my own environment, I know the routine, the little jobs I can occupy myself w

My first two shifts of 2014 have been challenging. Same story that is repeated in hospitals all over the country, not enough staff, too many patients. I like to give my best to my patients and it makes me frustrated when I can't do that. It's the "little things" that get missed when we're busy - the aqueous cream on someone's dry feet, the shower over a wash, the hair wash and French plait for a woman who normally takes great pride in her looks - the things that aren't "necessary" but make a patient feel good! In the past 2 days I changed incontinent patients 12 times (and that's just the bedbound ones...), I am bruised from where a scared patient grabbed my hand and arm so tightly, I didn't do lots of my HCA jobs - stuff like checking the sharps bins aren't full - because there just wasn't time. Yesterday, I didn't pee for my entire shift and came home incredibly dehydrated - because there just wasn't time.