Steady My Heart.

This evening I had a blip. And it's left me feeling like a ginormous fat blimp. More so than usual. Ironically, the cause of the blip? Receiving a letter suggesting that I am still currently diagnosed with bulimia nervosa. Now, I know I'm not. My own GP knows I'm not. The mental health team that discharged me as "recovered" know I'm not. I am recovered. I had an eating disorder, in the past. It is not current. I still struggle with confidence and body image. I still feel I am fat. Some days I still struggle with "normal". But I do not spend my life restricting, binging, purging, exercising and taking laxatives. I am recovered and I am immensely proud of the effort I put into that recovery. I'm angry that such a petty thing has knocked me. It came from a letter full of errors. It is an error. I do not still have bulimia. I think I'm also angry at myself for the shame and embarrassment I feel. I was always embarrassed of the bulimia

Last week, I read Disabled Medic 's wonderful blog on the NHS. Today, I logged on to Twitter to find #ILoveOurNHS trending.65 years on and we are in the process of losing our wonderful health service - I don't profess to knowing the politics or exact plans - I was never good at that kind of stuff. All I know is the anecdotal evidence of  healthcare professionals on Twitter, the dumbed down, sensationalised newspapers and the odd blog here and there. It's made me realise how much we'll miss the NHS if and when it's gone for good. The NHS has employed my Mum ever since I was born - giving us a stable income, allowing her career progression and she now works in a job that she loves despite the long hours. She's been a radiographer, a sonographer and now she manages a triple A screening programme. I am so proud of how hard my Mum works and that she's able to do it for an organisation such as the NHS. The NHS has looked after each member of my family at one

Last Sunday, Liz Wood preached and her honesty struck me to tears. She was preaching on the parable of the lost sheep (Luke 15:1-7) and how we can wander from God an  get lost ourselves. Like sheep, we don't intend to get lost - it just happens from a chain of small, seemingly insignificant bad choices. However, the great news is, that no matter how lost we feel, Jesus is greater. The shepherd wouldn't give up until he found the sheep and likewise, Jesus carries things through to completion. He knows me personally and comes to find me where I am. He would have died for me, even if I was the only person on earth. But how do we deal with lostness? We can accept lostness or we can surrender that area of or lives. Jesus carries us home, no questions asked. It's on the day that we surrender that we find true freedom. The preach was good, but what struck me was Liz's honesty with backing it up with her own life experience. She talked about finances and debt and this i