Caring for the Broken-hearted - Part 1
So, I've mentioned in the past that I belong to Brighton ACT Group and have a heart for seeing those trapped in slavery set free. As a group recently we have embarked on a 4 part course called "Caring for the Broken-hearted" and after the first session the other day...I'm excited!
The course itself is being run by a wonderful lady called Wendy Young, who is part of the ministry team at Off The Fence. The course we're on is training us and developing our ability to care for and serve women who are suffering life controlling issues and those who are in crisis. The first session we spent a lot of time talking about women who work in prostitution and as an ACT group we know that sex trafficking for prostitution is a huge problem both nationally and globally. Plus, the overwhelming majority of those trafficked are women (around 80%) and therefore this course is something we feel really called to. Although STOPTHETRAFFIK is not a religious organisation all members of Brighton ACT group are currently Christians and as such this course is faith based and encourages us to follow Jesus' example.
So...this will be my account of what I've learned but if you're from the East Sussex area and it's an area you're interested in - I'd totally recommend contacting Wendy and trying to get on a course. The discussions had and friendships made cannot be conveyed in a simple blog post.
We make judgements all the time and when meeting someone new it can take as little as 10 seconds to make a judgement as to whether or not we like them. Within those 10 seconds we're looking at things like appearance, hygiene, facial expressions, body language and making judgement on their morals, lifestyle, religion, status. And so often, we make sweeping judgements without knowing the person's story, the person's heart.
A key thing to remember when caring for broken-hearted women is that they are judging us to. It's natural to make take a first impression from someone. So what impression are we giving off? Are we trustworthy? Are we open? Are we offering non-judgemental care? A key thing to remember is that we all make judgements - the important thing is not letting our judgements affect the way we treat a person. We should give everyone a chance.
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. - Luke 6:37
But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. - 1 Samuel 16:7
When judging people we often apply labels to them. Taking for example, women who work in prostitution. Society labels them...slag, dirty, whore, worthless, cheap. The list is endless. And as vulnerable human beings with emotions we take on the identity of the labels given to us. We were encouraged to refer to them as women who work in prostitution. These are women who have a heart like you or me, who hurt like you or me and who need love like you and me. They are someone's mother, sister, daughter, there is a person behind the label.
The labels we apply to people categorise them as to whether we think they are normal or abnormal. We put them in a box according to social norms. But Jesus came to turn social norms upside down. He came to seek and save the lost - to spend time with those who society shunned. We want to "measure" sin and grade it as to levels of severity. Our thoughts show what's in our hearts and we too should strive to be like Jesus. We looked at the story from Luke 7 where a prostitute used tears and perfume to wash Jesus' feet - Jesus was friend to sinners. We are all equal in God's sight - no sin can take us further away, no striving and good deeds can make Him love us more. We are saved by His grace. Love doesn't care about normal/abnormal, love doesn't cater for a hierarchy of law were the "abnormal" are crushed.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. - Ephesians 2: 8-9
We ended the night considering the fact that these labels can start being placed as children. You don't wake up one morning and decide to give prostitution a go. There is a deep rooted feeling of worthlessness, of sadness, of pain. So rather than looking at a woman as just a "prostitute"...how about considering the deeper problem? People will see Jesus when we love and accept them regardless.
Wow. I am already learning and growing so much. This course is changing my heart, to help me change others. The women we meet may never get away from a life working in prostitution but we can help them realise they are worth something, that they are loved, that they are made for more.
TTFN x
The course itself is being run by a wonderful lady called Wendy Young, who is part of the ministry team at Off The Fence. The course we're on is training us and developing our ability to care for and serve women who are suffering life controlling issues and those who are in crisis. The first session we spent a lot of time talking about women who work in prostitution and as an ACT group we know that sex trafficking for prostitution is a huge problem both nationally and globally. Plus, the overwhelming majority of those trafficked are women (around 80%) and therefore this course is something we feel really called to. Although STOPTHETRAFFIK is not a religious organisation all members of Brighton ACT group are currently Christians and as such this course is faith based and encourages us to follow Jesus' example.
So...this will be my account of what I've learned but if you're from the East Sussex area and it's an area you're interested in - I'd totally recommend contacting Wendy and trying to get on a course. The discussions had and friendships made cannot be conveyed in a simple blog post.
We make judgements all the time and when meeting someone new it can take as little as 10 seconds to make a judgement as to whether or not we like them. Within those 10 seconds we're looking at things like appearance, hygiene, facial expressions, body language and making judgement on their morals, lifestyle, religion, status. And so often, we make sweeping judgements without knowing the person's story, the person's heart.
A key thing to remember when caring for broken-hearted women is that they are judging us to. It's natural to make take a first impression from someone. So what impression are we giving off? Are we trustworthy? Are we open? Are we offering non-judgemental care? A key thing to remember is that we all make judgements - the important thing is not letting our judgements affect the way we treat a person. We should give everyone a chance.
Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. - Luke 6:37
But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. - 1 Samuel 16:7
When judging people we often apply labels to them. Taking for example, women who work in prostitution. Society labels them...slag, dirty, whore, worthless, cheap. The list is endless. And as vulnerable human beings with emotions we take on the identity of the labels given to us. We were encouraged to refer to them as women who work in prostitution. These are women who have a heart like you or me, who hurt like you or me and who need love like you and me. They are someone's mother, sister, daughter, there is a person behind the label.
The labels we apply to people categorise them as to whether we think they are normal or abnormal. We put them in a box according to social norms. But Jesus came to turn social norms upside down. He came to seek and save the lost - to spend time with those who society shunned. We want to "measure" sin and grade it as to levels of severity. Our thoughts show what's in our hearts and we too should strive to be like Jesus. We looked at the story from Luke 7 where a prostitute used tears and perfume to wash Jesus' feet - Jesus was friend to sinners. We are all equal in God's sight - no sin can take us further away, no striving and good deeds can make Him love us more. We are saved by His grace. Love doesn't care about normal/abnormal, love doesn't cater for a hierarchy of law were the "abnormal" are crushed.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. - Ephesians 2: 8-9
We ended the night considering the fact that these labels can start being placed as children. You don't wake up one morning and decide to give prostitution a go. There is a deep rooted feeling of worthlessness, of sadness, of pain. So rather than looking at a woman as just a "prostitute"...how about considering the deeper problem? People will see Jesus when we love and accept them regardless.
Wow. I am already learning and growing so much. This course is changing my heart, to help me change others. The women we meet may never get away from a life working in prostitution but we can help them realise they are worth something, that they are loved, that they are made for more.
TTFN x
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ReplyDeleteThis blog post is very interesting because I find it somewhat hypocritical. The message is, of course, a very good one, that we shouldn't judge anyone because we are in no place to. However, don't you think that the group sounds slightly judgmental in assuming that a woman who turns to prostitution has "a deep rooted feeling of worthlessness, of sadness, of pain"? Perhaps they are actually very well within their own mental state, and are happy with being a prostitute - they may see it as a valid way of gaining an income. Others may not have this "deep rooted feeling" you speak of at all, but have become a prostitute out of necessity for money. I think it is a judgment in itself to assume that 1. a woman has negative feelings surrounding prostituting herself, and 2. that she has done this out of choice, and 3. that she's done this because of some early indoctrination into feeling a certain way. I hope this doesn't seem like a personal attack on yourself or your blog post, I'm commenting merely to discuss your thoughts on this. It just struck me as an issue you may want to raise with your group in future?
ReplyDeleteVery interesting point, and one I did briefly consider when I was writing the post. The course is training us to work with women who are asking for help - as an ACT group we will be working with those who have been sex trafficked. In this case, all of our prior training has taught us that these women will be hurting - the very nature of trafficking is being forced to do something against your will.
DeleteIt's a really interesting question and one I'd be interested in finding out more about - are there women in prostitution who are entirely happy with that? Or is the very fact their having to sell themselves out of necessity for money an issue in itself (not with the woman...but with society). It makes me sad that we live in a world where a woman would have to sell herself to survive.
I may not have articulated myself all that well, one of the things we talked about during the evening was that actually many women in prostitution don't want to give up - it is their life and they aren't ready or they just don't want to work in a different area. However, if the reason the women want to stay in prostitution is that they don't know a way out/don't believe they are worth more etc. then these are the women who we want to impact upon. We were very clear on the fact that sometimes a woman in prostitution will never want to leave, but if we can make her believe she is worthy and loved then that in itself is more important. It's about what's in her heart, not her occupation.
Personally, I'm not sure how many women would choose prostitution outright for their lives but that's not to say that there aren't women out there who are happy working as prostitutes. It's a difficult one!