It's okay not to be okay.

This week has been tough in parts. It's been long and exhausting and I am still feeling pretty ill at times. There are positives though and I've accepted that there are going to be some lows.

My heart rate is a lot more settled. 93bpm as an average for the day isn't bad given how active I'd been but I'm still having runs of intense tachycardia and it's exhausting. I'm seeing my GP in the morning and I'm really going to try and be assertive. I need some constructive planning to happen. I fell down the stairs this week, whether or not it was directly correlated to heart stuff or not, my balance is off. Hard going at times. Sometimes it feels like one thing after another.

I've been pushing myself this week in lots of good ways - I've started to leave the house alone again, I've pretty much finished my housing benefit form, I've sent the relevant emails about officially withdrawing from Uni., I've written my personal statement and nearly completed my UCAS application. I've done loads, I know I have and I'm trying to praise myself for that.

And today? I got back out on duty with the Red Cross for Hastings half marathon and had a great time.

 It was fairly quiet, treating relatively few patients given the size of the event - it was nice though. Spent time getting to know other volunteers better, reminding myself that I am capable of using a radio professionally and had a few lovely patients. Everyone was cheerful, everyone was friendly and it was a nice way to kick of the major events season. I'm suffering with insomnia at the moment so only got an hours sleep prior to the duty - thus I had a fuzzy brain this morning and couldn't for the life of me remember my call sign so resorted to writing it on my wrist! Totally wiped out and exhausted so hoping for sleep tonight...


TTFN x

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