It's an invisible illness...
...until you're passed out on the floor.
I'm having an argument with my autonomic system once more. I am angry and I am sad and IT'S NOT FAIR. It's not often that I let my illness get me down, but at the moment it is. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do half the things I want to do. I have collapsed multiple times this week which is so unusual for me these days.
Living with POTS/autonomic dysfunction is so incredibly difficult. It's hard to explain it to someone who has never lived through this. Just because I don't look sick, doesn't mean I'm not. For one - make up can do wonders!
I have been feeling awful for over a week now, gradually getting worse. My energy to fight ran out about a week ago. Currently I am functioning on pride and a large amount of stubborn.
Thankfully, I've survived to annual leave. Today I didn't have to get out of bed - not that I could have done if I'd tried. Tomorrow will probably be the same. I'm well over my threshold for presenting at A+E for treatment, but I'm giving rest a chance first.
I am exhausted. I so wanted this to be an eloquent, awareness raising post - but right now, I'm just giving myself space to be sad. I miss the healthy me, I long to be a "normal" 21 year old, I am sick of taking medications just to get through each day. I am lucky to have good friends, family and supportive colleagues...but even so, I want to lie here and spend a while crying for the fact that chronic illness is just not fair.
I'm having an argument with my autonomic system once more. I am angry and I am sad and IT'S NOT FAIR. It's not often that I let my illness get me down, but at the moment it is. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't do half the things I want to do. I have collapsed multiple times this week which is so unusual for me these days.
Living with POTS/autonomic dysfunction is so incredibly difficult. It's hard to explain it to someone who has never lived through this. Just because I don't look sick, doesn't mean I'm not. For one - make up can do wonders!
I have been feeling awful for over a week now, gradually getting worse. My energy to fight ran out about a week ago. Currently I am functioning on pride and a large amount of stubborn.
Thankfully, I've survived to annual leave. Today I didn't have to get out of bed - not that I could have done if I'd tried. Tomorrow will probably be the same. I'm well over my threshold for presenting at A+E for treatment, but I'm giving rest a chance first.
I am exhausted. I so wanted this to be an eloquent, awareness raising post - but right now, I'm just giving myself space to be sad. I miss the healthy me, I long to be a "normal" 21 year old, I am sick of taking medications just to get through each day. I am lucky to have good friends, family and supportive colleagues...but even so, I want to lie here and spend a while crying for the fact that chronic illness is just not fair.
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