"Maybe God just hates me..."

Yup. I really said that. And unfortunately, there's digital evidence of it so I can't just pretend it never happened. And actually...it was a genuine thought at the time.

I know that God has a plan for me. I know that His plans are for my good, that I have a future and it is wonderful. I know that I am loved and created by the most incredible Father. But do I always believe it?

No.

So, sitting in occupational health last week, having been double booked I was sure that God hated me, and that I was never ever going to start my new job. The wait to start has felt so long, the health hurdles, the financial hurdles. Everything has just felt so long winded and I was tired and worn. I had lost hope and trust.

Yet, even in my doubt, Jesus has got me.

Occupational health squeezed me in, the gave me the clearance I knew I already had, the promised to send the necessary emails. HR squeezed me onto this week's induction and I recieved my official startdate.

Today. I started work today.

Admittedly...it's still 4 days until I'll be let loose on the ward, but as of today I am a full time NHS employee and it feels great (despite the death by powerpoint induction!).

God doesn't hate me, He never has, He never will, He never could. Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that.

TTFN x

Comments

  1. Helen2 September 2013 at 18:59

    The devil must have thought it was his lucky day. Foiled again and always will be because by the Grace of God you will stand firm! Congratulations and enjoy!

    ReplyDelete

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