Steady My Heart.

Flashback 3 years: Easter Sunday 2010  Easter Sunday 2010 was my baptism. I don't remember that many details from the day but I do remember the verse I was given and the song that we sung as I came up from the water... Romans 8:38-39 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord." I chose this song because it was one that had really touched me during that year. Things had been difficult, I was working really hard to recover from an eating disorder, my parents were in the process of getting divorced, I was studying for my A2's, there was lots of uncertainty about the future and this song...

This week has been tough in parts. It's been long and exhausting and I am still feeling pretty ill at times. There are positives though and I've accepted that there are going to be some lows. My heart rate is a lot more settled. 93bpm as an average for the day isn't bad given how active I'd been but I'm still having runs of intense tachycardia and it's exhausting. I'm seeing my GP in the morning and I'm really going to try and be assertive. I need some constructive planning to happen. I fell down the stairs this week, whether or not it was directly correlated to heart stuff or not, my balance is off. Hard going at times. Sometimes it feels like one thing after another. I've been pushing myself this week in lots of good ways - I've started to leave the house alone again, I've pretty much finished my housing benefit form, I've sent the relevant emails about officially withdrawing from Uni., I've written my personal statement and n...

So, I've mentioned in the past that I belong to Brighton ACT Group and have a heart for seeing those trapped in slavery set free. As a group recently we have embarked on a 4 part course called "Caring for the Broken-hearted" and after the first session the other day...I'm excited! The course itself is being run by a wonderful lady called Wendy Young, who is part of the ministry team at Off The Fence . The course we're on is training us and developing our ability to care for and serve women who are suffering life controlling issues and those who are in crisis. The first session we spent a lot of time talking about women who work in prostitution and as an ACT group we know that sex trafficking for prostitution is a huge problem both nationally and globally. Plus, the overwhelming majority of those trafficked are women (around 80%) and therefore this course is something we feel really called to. Although STOPTHETRAFFIK is not a religious organisation all members o...

Once again, there's another bump in the road, another twist in the tale. This might be a lengthy post and it'll be a mixture of an update plus a reflection on hope and a smidge of gushing about how blessed I still am. For those that don't know me in real life...I am ill once again. Not just a little bit ill, full blown couldn't stand up for a few days ill and as a consequence, my plans of being a teacher are over. Since the 2nd March my heart rate has been all over the place, I haven't been able to eat and for a few days I wasn't able to drink. I became very dehydrated and ended up in hospital. Whilst an inpatient I met one great doctor and one rubbish doctor. It's made me realise the the management of my POTS could be so much more effective if I was under a doctor who understood that it was part of a bigger illness that is affecting many parts of my body aside from my heart. So...the good doctor agrees that I have general autonomic dysfunction (d...