Steady My Heart.

I was serving on COG's at the racecourse this morning. Orange and green kidlings are aged between 2 and a half years old to six years old. It's a lovely age group and I work with a fantastic team. Today I surprised myself and rejigged my perception of COG's. I learnt something new as well as hopefully teaching the children :) We're currently working through a storybook Bible and today we were talking about the Fall and the fact that Adam and Eve had to leave the garden. One image most people will have when they think about creation is this; Adam and Eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil and realised they were naked. They covered themselves with fig leaves. When God sent them away from Eden He clothed them (Genesis 3:21 " The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them"). Today's title however, God clothes us with His love . We were banished from Eden but we were not abandoned. As humans were are covered...

This weekend marks two years since I flew the nest and came to Uni. My middle sister is now following suit but headed for a different city and a different course. I've been reading over old journals again recently and feeling pretty nostalgic and I guess a little sad. Freshers is meant to be a time of trying out new activities, getting drunk making new friends and generally just "loving life". Now, don't get me wrong...I did do some of this; First night drinks Myself and Beth (housemate) Freebies at Freshers Fair Amelia, Beth, myself, Laura     Foam party UV rave But I also did a fair amount of crying, weighing myself, hiding in my room and wishing the whole world would swallow me up. Things were so different back then. I miss being slim so so much. I cannot believe I wasted hours of my time standing on the scales berating myself for being fat, and look at me now, gone completely the other way. I am trying to address the weight I'...

Say hello to some of this years student leaders... I return from some time away with CCK student leaders feeling completely exhausted but glad to have been a part of it. We spent our time getting to know each other, getting to know our mission better and getting to know Jesus on a deeper level. Lots of worship, prayer, fun and games and not very much sleep! I so didn't want to be there, I don't feel worthy of being a leader, I don't feel like I belong at CCK, that I have friends, that anyone cares about me, there are cliques of which I belong to none. I feel like the other leaders look at me, judge me and think I've just screwed up too much. CCK can be very lonely at times, being in a big church and feeling like no-one knows your name is horrible. However, I was invited and a couple of people really encouraged me to go, so I did. And what did we spend a lot of time focussing on? CCK has cliques that need combating AND no-one has gone too far from God/sinned so ...

Today I was reunited with my lovely Pippa...it's great being in a new house with great new house mates but I miss having Pippa so close. We had lots to catch up on and we did so over pizza, salad and a free pudding as the waiter liked us! During our conversation Pippa said something which really struck me: "It's nice to see you smiling and looking so happy" Pippa saw me go through some really tough stuff over the past year and I value her opinion of me. She's visited me in hospital, she's held me while I've cried, she's made me cook proper food, have showers and get out of the house when all I want to do is curl up in a ball. Looking back I even love her for the times she practically dragged me to church only for me to walk out/cry in a heap during worship. So for her to say I'm looking happy meant a lot. And it's true, I am happy. And the best bit? For the first time in four years this is not a medicated happy. For the first time in ...