Feeling reflective.
This week marks a month in the new job as well as the arrival of another group of freshers. I cannot believe it's been 3 years since moving to Brighton. My time here has been some of the worst and some of the best of my life. Even this year has had some crap yet such progress too.
Looking back, I am so glad I started teaching - it's what brought me to Brighton and this is my home now. I love it here, I feel truly settled, I have a great house, church, friends. However, there are absolutely no regrets in having given it up. I'd grown up always believing I'd be a teacher yet at the same time loved all things medical...documentaries, dramas, news stories. I was so curious and interested yet never considered it as a career path. After just a month on the ward I feel so at home - of course, I'm still learning, there are days where I arrive and just feel totally out of my depth but for the most part; I love my job - even the 5:30 starts don't feel like a chore just yet! I'm even more convinced that at some point in time I want to embark on my nursing training. After just a month on the ward I feel more settled, and more confident than I ever did in a classroom. I've had some really lovely compliments from staff and patients alike and it's just so nice to finally be doing something that feels rewarding, brings me joy and ultimately pays the rent!
There's always that niggling, doubting, anxious part of me - will I get ill again? Will my body let me down? Am I actually crap at the job and just no-one's told me yet?
Healthwise...I am far more stable than I've been since I was first diagnosed. Full time work is incredibly hard (I can see why a lot of POTSy's can't manage it!) and I am utterly exhausted - I definitely would not put my body through this if I didn't love the job. Saw my GP the other day just to check in and keep on top of things and my blood pressure is far lower than usual but actually, the tachycardia is really well controlled, we seem to have finally got on top of my sickness and found an anti emetic that doesn't send me to sleep and although I still get a lot of joint pain, if I get adequate rest outside of shifts, it's bearable. It's hard to believe that just six months ago I couldn't even brush my hair without my heart rate being over 200bpm...I've come so far. I am so grateful to have found a GP that's willing to work with me and experiment with different treatments to find what works.
Ultimately, the treatment that works most effectively for me during a flare is IV fluids and sadly that's not easily accessible outside of an inpatient setting so I know future admissions are pretty inevitable however, my GP is doing her utmost to empower me to maintain stability and have control over my condition. I feel it's so important with chronic illness - to become an expert patient, to know what does and doesn't work for you, to know your warning signs and to stop a flare before it has a chance to take hold. I feel so much more in control of my health than I did 6 months ago and that's not just positive physically - it also gives me a huge boost emotionally.
The other great thing about starting work is the weightloss that come with being busier/less able to snack. I've already lost a stone and it feels so nice to be losing weight healthily for the first time ever! When I was teaching, I would get home from a long day, exhausted and comfort eat. With this job, I rarely eat when I get home at 8pm because I don't need food to make up for a crap day!
I adore Brighton and hope to be here for many years to come...but in the short term, it's time to pop the Pitch Perfect soundtrack on and clean up the floordrobe that has invaded my entire bedroom!
TTFN x
Looking back, I am so glad I started teaching - it's what brought me to Brighton and this is my home now. I love it here, I feel truly settled, I have a great house, church, friends. However, there are absolutely no regrets in having given it up. I'd grown up always believing I'd be a teacher yet at the same time loved all things medical...documentaries, dramas, news stories. I was so curious and interested yet never considered it as a career path. After just a month on the ward I feel so at home - of course, I'm still learning, there are days where I arrive and just feel totally out of my depth but for the most part; I love my job - even the 5:30 starts don't feel like a chore just yet! I'm even more convinced that at some point in time I want to embark on my nursing training. After just a month on the ward I feel more settled, and more confident than I ever did in a classroom. I've had some really lovely compliments from staff and patients alike and it's just so nice to finally be doing something that feels rewarding, brings me joy and ultimately pays the rent!
There's always that niggling, doubting, anxious part of me - will I get ill again? Will my body let me down? Am I actually crap at the job and just no-one's told me yet?
Healthwise...I am far more stable than I've been since I was first diagnosed. Full time work is incredibly hard (I can see why a lot of POTSy's can't manage it!) and I am utterly exhausted - I definitely would not put my body through this if I didn't love the job. Saw my GP the other day just to check in and keep on top of things and my blood pressure is far lower than usual but actually, the tachycardia is really well controlled, we seem to have finally got on top of my sickness and found an anti emetic that doesn't send me to sleep and although I still get a lot of joint pain, if I get adequate rest outside of shifts, it's bearable. It's hard to believe that just six months ago I couldn't even brush my hair without my heart rate being over 200bpm...I've come so far. I am so grateful to have found a GP that's willing to work with me and experiment with different treatments to find what works.
Ultimately, the treatment that works most effectively for me during a flare is IV fluids and sadly that's not easily accessible outside of an inpatient setting so I know future admissions are pretty inevitable however, my GP is doing her utmost to empower me to maintain stability and have control over my condition. I feel it's so important with chronic illness - to become an expert patient, to know what does and doesn't work for you, to know your warning signs and to stop a flare before it has a chance to take hold. I feel so much more in control of my health than I did 6 months ago and that's not just positive physically - it also gives me a huge boost emotionally.
The other great thing about starting work is the weightloss that come with being busier/less able to snack. I've already lost a stone and it feels so nice to be losing weight healthily for the first time ever! When I was teaching, I would get home from a long day, exhausted and comfort eat. With this job, I rarely eat when I get home at 8pm because I don't need food to make up for a crap day!
I adore Brighton and hope to be here for many years to come...but in the short term, it's time to pop the Pitch Perfect soundtrack on and clean up the floordrobe that has invaded my entire bedroom!
TTFN x
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