Breaking Point.

Such a challenging preach this weekend...not one I wanted to hear, but a couple of people have pointed out that I *needed* to hear it. If you want to hear the full preach then clicky here. The preach will be dated 17th June and titled Breaking Point and should appear soon!

The passage: 1 Samuel 27 and 1 Samuel 28:1-2

Personally I took a lot from it, and I know many others did too. So here are my highlights...

1. "If I knew how near I was, I'd never have quit" - we often give up because we can't see the end, even though it may be just moments away. It's not knowing when it will end that can make pain/suffering so excruciating - we can rationalise it when we can see the end.
2. It is never right to quit trusting God. Jesus died for me, He went through greater suffering than I will ever face, I can trust that nothing I go through is worse than what He experienced. We get burned because we put our trust in people rather than God.

3. In this ch. David trusts his own understanding. "There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death - Proverbs 14:12". We cannot see the whole picture, we make decisions that seem logical to us but are often making a situation worse. It's okay to use our understanding, cleverness is not a sin, just don't lean on it. Matthew 10:16 teaches to be "harmless as doves", but "shrewd as serpents" - we glorify God when we use our gifts, not when we hide them. Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take. 
4. Doubt and unbelief appears to be quite reasonable but they tend to just come from fear and insecurity - we become trapped by fear and anxiety. Like David, we can forget what God has promised us and rely on a negative internal dialogue. When we tell ourself negative things everyday it invades our soul. We need to learn to speak back to the negativity rather than letting the negativity become central. When we hit difficulties we rely on what we've been telling ourselves and this is why doubt creeps in - Matthew 14:30-31 Peter even doubted when he was walking on water!
5. "If only" indicates your current priority. For me this is money. I find myself constantly thinking "if only my benefits were sorted", "if only I earned more", "if only I knew how I was going to pay my bills/rent/food". These are quite natural concerns but at the same time - I have been struggling financially for many months now due to intermitting and health and the like and God has not let me down once. Money always arrives just in time. I should trust that if I persevere then He'll come through for me again, but it's hard and it's stressful and that makes me doubt. It makes me want to quit.

I've had quite a few "breaking points" recently and I'd like to say I've trusted God in them all but it'd be a lie. I'm trying to trust this time...it doesn't make it easy, it doesn't make it less stressful but I've got to try.

So there you go, I would like to throw the towel in and quit, but I shan't because the end might be just around the corner.