Steady My Heart.

Working with Team Foxtrot is currently the highlight of my summer. I met some brilliant people and got to spend time doing first response stuff and using the skills I've spent so many hours acquiring! Really hoping that it'll be the start of getting back out on duties with the Red Cross be that SafeSpace or major event stuff. Since getting back I've also signed up to do further modules including Entonox, trauma, medical and others...exciting times. More than one person has asked why I'm pursuing teaching still when my heart lies in something more medical and to be quite honest I'm still not 100% sure. My current reasoning however is teaching has a longer career length, it would not be possible to still be working as a paramedic aged 60, it's not so unrealistic to still be in a classroom! Plus, I do love teaching and I don't know whether I would love medical stuff if it was my career? I volunteer because I enjoy it, just like I play my clarinet because I enjo...

So in case you hadn't noticed...I've been away for a fortnight and will do a proper update sometime but for today I want to look at one of the most read news stories on the BBC recently. Tony Nicklinson has died after refusing food for the past week and contracting pneumonia. You can read the BBC's story here . Euthanasia is such a sticky sticky subject and I can't say that I've fully formed my opinion on it. I did however attend a seminar on the topic while I was away and have read various bits and pieces in the past. I am by no means an intelligent writer or a theology genius so bear with me! So, starting with where I'm at personally... I can understand the logic and the desire of many people for euthanasia to be made legal in this country. I really really do. I read about certain peoples situations and how desperate they feel and feel that their argument is valid. However, I can't justify euthanasia biblically (in my opinion) and this is where ...

Back when I first started writing I wrote a post entitled Tachycardia briefly explaining what had been going on with my health and that we were stuck in a bit of a no-mans-land. Yesterday, nearly a year after my first admission I have a diagnosis! For those of you with a medical background; postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) with episodes of hypoglycemia. There's some general dysautomonia and they're still pursuing neuro follow up although we're hopeful that I can be discharged and just remain under cardiology. My tilt table showed an increase of 60bpm post-GTN,  intolerance of exercise (40bpm increase on standing and hit 150bpm within first minute). 7 day monitor showed persistent tacycardia (hit 190bpm at rest on more than one occasion). For those of you to whom that makes no sense...it's a name that explains the majority of my symptoms. It accounts for symptoms that I didn't even realise were related to the heart stuff so it's taking a wh...

*Apologies...post contains some swearing in quotes* An atypical eating disorder. Otherwise known as EDNOS. It can be just as life threatening as anorexia without any of the "glory" bestowed upon those with the "self control" to starve themselves. Looking over an old personal journal, I have picked out the following. The posts are over a year old but are far more articulate than I can be at the moment... I hate this no-mans-land. This week I've been a "bulimic", last week I tended more to "anorexia" but I'm obviously not very good at either and I totally fail at "healthy". Many patients who do not meet full criteria for these diseases are nevertheless quite ill, and the diagnosis they now receive, “Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified,” may delay their ability to get treatment. “It is a bit misleading to patients — it can make them feel like they don’t have a real eating disorder,” 60 percent of EDNOS patients ...

You know those songs that always make you cry? That always have meaning? Well this is one of mine. A few years back mine and my mum's relationship was in pieces. She went away for the weekend and left a note telling me to listen to this song, that it was a song she listened to around the time I was born and that it meant a lot to her. I listened to it on repeat all weekend...the lyrics are beautiful: I want to call the stars Down from the sky I want to live a day That never dies I want to change the world Only for you All the impossible I want to do I want to hold you close Under the rain I want to kiss your smile And feel the pain I know what's beautiful Looking at you In a world of lies You are the truth And baby Every time you touch me I become a hero I'll make you safe No matter where you are And give you Everything you ask for Nothing is above me I'm shining like a candle in the dark When you tell me that you love me I want to m...

BBC Article... I'm not sure I want to live past 100. In all honesty, I've never really imagined myself getting old. I'm very much living in the present and the past but rarely the future. In many ways the future scares me, life is tough (not always, but recently it has been) and I guess it's hard to potentially consider another 80 years of crap. I realise that's quite a pessimistic view and maybe now I'm feeling more hopeful this may change. I guess it's not necessarily a bad thing to live in the present. I'm enjoying my short term plans and can't wait to get back to university. One day I will be a teacher and from there who knows... One thing I do know is that I'd rather die when I still know who I am and those I love. It saddens me when I read all of the stories and statistics about Alzheimers, makes me wonder what we're sacrificing through modern medicine and longer life expectancy. Are we *meant* to live that long? I appreciate t...

Such a challenging preach this weekend...not one I wanted to hear, but a couple of people have pointed out that I *needed* to hear it. If you want to hear the full preach then clicky here . The preach will be dated 17th June and titled Breaking Point and should appear soon! The passage: 1 Samuel 27 and 1 Samuel 28:1-2 Personally I took a lot from it, and I know many others did too. So here are my highlights... 1. "If I knew how near I was, I'd never have quit" - we often give up because we can't see the end, even though it may be just moments away. It's not knowing when it will end that can make pain/suffering so excruciating - we can rationalise it when we can see the end. 2. It is never right to quit trusting God. Jesus died for me, He went through greater suffering than I will ever face, I can trust that nothing I go through is worse than what He experienced. We get burned because we put our trust in people rather than God. 3. In this ch. David trusts...